Hey there lil sissy,
Ana.
It's been a year and a month since you left me. Many thing have changed since you left me. You took the love of your life together with you. It's hard for me though because I did not not just lost you. I lost almost everything too. I lost my sister, I lost my best friend, I lost my companion, I lost my sleeping partner, i lost my confidant and most importantly I lost myself too. The day you died Ana, I thought some parts of me died too. I still remember the moment I received the news. I still can hear Mama's voice telling me "Aifa, bangun fa. Ana dgn Syahmi fa, diaorg dah takde, diaorg meninggal accident dgn bas fa". woke up feeling so clueless not be able to digest what is going on. I then go back to sleep thinking it was just a bad dream. A dream I wish you would have wake me up from and tell me in my face that you're still here. remember it so clearly that it hurts you so much. But still, it was not a dream.
Ana, I never thought I will lose you so fast. I never thought I would grow old without you. I never thought that you wouldn't be there witness me being a wife to someone I love. And for the record Ana, it's not Hasrul. My 7 years relationship went down the hill, it started on the day you left. Fast forward, I have met someone new and to be honest he's amazing. He's 11/10, I'm sure if you & Syahmi were here, you guys would love him. And to be honest, I have bring him to meet you guys. Do you love him Ana? because I am. I have been trying to write for you since the first day you left but I guess I haven t find the courage to write for you. But here i am, today, writing this letter for you even though I know you will never read it.
I miss you a lot. When I say a lot. i mean a lot. To be honest, I don't think I ever understand the meaning or the weigh that I love you or I miss you carry. With you gone, I now understand how does it feel to love someone and how does it feel to miss someone. Missing with no ending. It was painful and it was terrible. Of course, it is. Not to be able to see your face, or hear your laugh or listen to your crazy stupid jokes & listen to you ranting about your jobs or our boss which you always stressed about is so painful that i would do anything and I am willing to do anything to be able to hold you and kiss you or just to see your face one more time. Just one more time.