I'm drowning in my own thoughts, it's the scariest place I've ever been. It's so scary, I wanted to get out. I have so much on my plate right now. I'm in the midst of preparing for my wedding, looking and surveying for our home, making sure we have enough money, settling in at the new workplace, and to be honest it is too overwhelming. I didn't realized how much it consumes me, I just happen to realize because I keep on breaking down especially when I'm alone. I lost my appetite, I do not want to do anything. This exact feeling I feel right now, my condition right now, this pain that I feel right now, it's the exact feelings that I felt when Yana passed away. I am always a happy girl, I smile a lot, I laughed a lot, always on the move, and always, always the cheerful one. Bringing this character, I find it hard to share my pain with others. It's as if I have to take this mask off but I do not want to take this mask off. 

But..

God, please. I wanna heal.